The Do's And Don'ts Of Prison Spread Chef.

 TXBM Manifesto is taking a wild-ass ride into uncharted territory—straight into the belly of the beast. Our latest addition to the weekly lineup is all about surviving in a place where even a goddamn onion is worth its weight in gold. Spread Chef
—Texas style.

When you're locked up, life ain't all Lone Star BBQ and ice-cold Shiner Bocks. Hell, no. It’s about survival, and sometimes that means turning the most unpalatable shit into a gourmet spread. Two things are non-negotiable: having homies in the kitchen and never, I repeat, NEVER tossing free food. That bruised-up apple or crusty bread? Yeah, that's your ticket to a halfway decent meal in a place where they think seasoning is optional.

Now, in Texas, we don’t just let our fate hang in the balance. We make deals, we get our hands dirty, and we use every damn resource at our disposal—starting with our kitchen plugs. These aren’t just your regular kitchen workers; they’re your lifeline. They’re smuggling you that onion, that bell pepper, hell, even a sliver of jalapeño if you’re lucky. And don't think they’re doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. You gotta break bread with these guys, or you’ll find yourself paying an arm and a leg just to make your meal palatable.

Let’s talk commissary—the prison equivalent of H-E-B. Your lifeblood. Forget steak and potatoes, my friend; we’re talking ramen. Ramen ain't just a meal in the clink—it's currency. It's the holy grail that can turn a trash-ass cafeteria tray into something you might actually want to eat. Bet your ass it’s in every prisoner’s stash, used for everything from trading to tipping your barber.

But Texas brings a little flavor to the table. Enter chicharrones—our crunchy, salty saviors. These pork rinds ain't just for snack time; they’re the foundation of some epic spreads, from the dirt-cheap menudo kits to the next-level orange chicken that’ll have you dreaming of a drive-thru Panda Express. And don't forget, in the world of prison cuisine, it’s all about impressing your buddies and making those connections. Good food equals good friends—and good business.

And for those of you with entrepreneurial spirits, prison cooking ain’t just about survival; it’s about making that hustle. Once you’ve mastered the art of turning commissary scraps into a meal worth bragging about, you can start charging your fellow inmates for the privilege of tasting your creations. Remember, when the walls close in, and the boredom hits, food is the great escape. And in Texas, we make damn sure it’s worth the price.

So, strap in and get ready for the raw, gritty, and motherfucking real journey into the heart of prison cooking, Texas-style. This isn’t just about feeding yourself—it’s about survival, respect, and making the most out of a shitty situation. Welcome to The Do's And Dont's Of Prison Spreading